What Time Should a Toddler Go to Bed? How to Find the Right Toddler Bedtime
Finding the right bedtime for your toddler can feel impossible. Unlike the baby days when you could follow wake windows to find the perfect bedtime, toddler bedtimes depend on a lot more variables. What I see most often when working with toddler families is that bedtime is too late. But it can be hard to answer the question, “What time should my toddler go to bed?” with a single answer. Let’s get into why toddler bedtimes vary so much and how to find your toddler’s perfect bedtime!
Why Toddler Sleep Schedules Vary So Much
A few different factors play into toddler bedtime, such as the length (or absence) of nap, the child’s own sleep needs, the child’s morning wake time, and the child’s activity level throughout the day. For example, a 4-year-old who is still napping versus a 4-year-old who hasn’t napped in a year are going to have two entirely different bedtimes. And sometimes this can be out of your control if your little one is in daycare.
The Biggest Signs that You’ve Missed the Ideal Bedtime
One of the biggest signs that your toddler is overtired and needs an earlier bedtime is hyperactivity before bedtime. When a toddler has gone past their ideal bedtime, their body enters into a stress response. The body releases cortisol and adrenaline, causing the toddler to ramp back up and get a “second wind.” Your goal is to get your toddler to bed before they enter that overtired zone. Another sign that bedtime is too late is that your toddler is fighting bedtime. This can look like defiance, tantrums, crying, or oversilliness. Both of these signs often get mistaken for a toddler who isn’t ready for bed yet, causing parents to try pushing bedtime later. But oftentimes moving bedtime earlier will help prevent both of these things!
So, How Do I Find What Time My Toddler Should Go to Bed?
The sweet spot for a toddler's bedtime is between 7:00 and 8:00 PM. You can hone in on an exact bedtime for your toddler based on the amount of sleep needed in a 24-hour period (naps and nighttime sleep together). Here's a breakdown of toddler sleep needs by age to help you dial in the right bedtime:
2-3 years old: 11-14 hours
4 years old: 11-13 hours
5 years old: 11-13 hours
6 years old: 10-12 hours
7 years old: 10-12 hours
Want to keep these numbers on hand? Grab my free Sleep Guidelines Chart. It has this same chart plus nap transition timing and wake windows if you've got a younger child at home, too.
Pay attention to your child’s behavior, demeanor, and activity level before bed. If they seem hyperactive or defiant, move bedtime a bit earlier. Whatever bedtime you land on, you want to stay consistent with it. Toddlers’ bodies rely on bedtime consistency, so aim for putting your toddler down around the same time every night. The only exception to this rule is if they’re in that hard stage of some days taking a nap and some days skipping a nap, bedtime can be moved up a whole hour on no-nap days to prevent overtiredness. Bonus: Try the stoplight method for this nap stage!
How to Know if Your Toddler Has the Right Bedtime
Every child is different, and your toddler’s bedtime might not look the same as another child their same age. Here’s how to know if your toddler’s bedtime is working for them:
Falling asleep within 20-30 minutes
Waking up rested
Manageable, age-appropriate behavior during the day and during the bedtime routine
Not overly hyper during the bedtime routine
Still struggling?
If you’ve tried adjusting bedtime and bedtime still seems like a battle every night, there might be something else going on. As a sleep consultant who specializes in toddler sleep, I can help you figure out exactly what’s going on with your child and create a custom sleep plan built around how the toddler brain actually works. Every toddler sleep package comes with a custom Ready, Set, Sleep Prep Plan™ to prepare your little one mentally, emotionally, and physically for the sleep changes to come, so that when we get to the sleep training, they know exactly what to expect. If this sounds like the extra support you need, let’s chat! Book your free 15-minute discovery call.
