Toddler Struggling with Sleep After Starting Preschool? What’s Happening and How to Fix It
You're exhausted. Bedtime has turned into a battle; your toddler won’t let you leave the room, and you're up at 3:00 AM. You have no idea what happened to your once good sleeper. If your toddler just started preschool, that's probably your answer. Toddler sleep regressions after starting preschool are incredibly common, and there’s a real reason it's happening. The beginning of the school year can bring so many emotions for kids, especially if it is their first year of school ever. They might feel excited, nervous, anxious, happy, or a combination of all of these. There is so much going on with the start of a new school year. New routines, new friends, new environment, new teacher. All of these feelings and new changes don’t just affect your little one’s day; they can also affect their sleep. You might see more bedtime resistance, night wakings, nap refusals, early morning wakings, nightmares, or begging for you to stay with them at bedtime. Let me first say: this is normal! And then let’s get into why exactly starting school can affect your toddler, even in the middle of the night.
Why School Transitions Affect Sleep
There are two major reasons why sleep can be affected when toddlers start school: emotional regulation during the school day is exhausting, and separation anxiety can spike even in kids who handle drop-off well. Let’s break it down. All day long at school, kids are holding in their biggest feelings to then release them when they are at home in their safe place with their safe people, which means you’re taking the brunt of their big, explosive feelings. This can happen at any point when they get home from school, but the exhaustion (yours and theirs) at bedtime can amplify it. Separation anxiety of being away from you, their safe person, can also cause sleep struggles, especially bedtime resistance, night wakings, or needing you to fall asleep with them. At bedtime, they're seeking the quality time with you that they didn't get during the day. This can be especially hard for toddlers who are starting school for the first time, but it can happen even for little ones who are used to being at school.
How to Fix this Toddler Sleep Regression
Step 1: Recognize what is happening (so kudos to you for being here and reading this!). Just understanding what is going on with your toddler can help you be more understanding of your child’s experience and help you stay calmer when they’re pushing the boundaries.
Step 2: Fill up their connection cup before bedtime. I know you’re already giving so much to your kid all day long, but giving them 10 minutes of one-on-one quality time can be a game-changer for helping them through big transitions and separation anxiety. Try to carve out 10 minutes of special time with them–no distractions, no phone, no siblings. Let them pick the activity. Avoid correcting their behavior, unless it is unsafe. Give it a special name, and you can even make a chart for them to put a sticker on once they’ve had this time with you each day, so they can visually see that they’re getting it. Bonus: add an extra book or two to the bedtime routine or a few extra minutes for cuddling to really fill that cup before bedtime!
Step 3: Keep your routines the same. Same dinner routine, same after-dinner routine, same bedtime routine. Kids thrive on consistency and predictability, especially in times of transition. Avoid adding any new sleep habits that you don’t plan on keeping. We’ve all felt the desperation at 10:00 PM when bedtime has dragged on way too long, and you’re just ready for it to end. Or the 3:00 AM wake-up that has turned into 2 hours. There’s nothing easy about these types of sleep struggles, but adding in new habits that aren’t sustainable for your family will only make it harder. Lovingly hold the boundary. This means going back to your normal sleep routines even when it's hard.
When to Seek Extra Support
Regressions like this typically last anywhere from two to six weeks. If your little one’s sleep struggles are lasting longer than this, these challenges are significantly disrupting your family, or you feel like you’ve already tried everything to fix it, it may be time to bring in some extra support. As a sleep consultant who specializes in toddler sleep, I can help you figure out exactly what’s going on with your child and create a custom sleep plan built around how the toddler brain actually works. Every toddler sleep package comes with a custom Ready, Set, Sleep Prep Plan™ to prepare your little one mentally, emotionally, and physically for the sleep changes to come, so that when we get to the sleep training, they know exactly what to expect. If this sounds like where you are at right now, let’s chat! Book your free 15-minute discovery call. Transitions are hard. But you’re not alone. Let’s figure this out together.
